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| Responsible for World War Two | Played no role in World War Two |
| Killed 17 million people | No known homicides |
| His powerful oratory stirred millions | Tends to get on people's nerves fairly quick |
| His autobiographical "Mein Kampf" sold more than 10 million copies | Her autobiographical "How I Raised, Folded, Bluffed, Flirted, Cursed, and Won Millions-and You Can Too" reached #21,342 on Amazon, and was nominated for a Pulitzer prize in the "longest title" category |
| Served a year in Landsberg prison in 1924 for his attempts to overthrow the German government | Has 4 teenage kids |
| Known for his distinctive mustache | Had mustache one time as a result of drinking milk |
| Tried to implement "Final Solution" | Tried to make "final table" |
| Aided by Heinrich Himmler and Rudolph Hess in his reign of terror | Co-hosted poker TV show with Phil Helmuth |
| Served as leader of the controversial National Socialist German Workers Party | Serves as spokesperson for the scandal prone Ultimate Bet website |
| Preached the superiority of the Aryan race | Preaches the superiority of folding marginal hands in early position |
| Never won a major poker tournament | Never won a major poker tournament |